It is a well-known fact among everyone who’s ever met me knows that I’m not a morning person. I approach the morning with reluctance, suspicion and movement aversion. Coffee is my morning cardio.
So imagine my reaction to this article from Outside magazine proposing the activity of (I can barely bring myself to type this, much less contemplate doing it) jumping 50 times in the morning. For health.
The folks from Outside do cite studies from actual respectable sports fitness journals promoting the benefits of what they can “jump training”, which, while unpleasant-sounding to me, is quite preferable to “jumping 50 times first thing in the morning”.
Jumping a lot in rapid succession apparently:
- increases bone density
- builds muscle
- promotes lymphatic drainage
- improves circulation
- wakes you up (like that’s a health benefit– hmphf)
Okay, I get that “science” says morning jumping is a good idea. However, I propose some alternative morning regimens that carry their own benefits. Here’s a preliminary list that I worked up, but feel free to add your own ideas. And, as always, sharing is caring.
10. Wonder what day it is.
9. Hit the snooze button. Repeat.
8. Try to make sense of the snatches of dream that are still in your awareness.
7. Listen to the morning sounds of your house and neighborhood.
6. See how long you can stay in bed while pretending you don’t have to pee.
5. Ponder what you might like for breakfast, eventually.
4. Listen to a morning meditation, sort of trying to meditate, but not really.
3. Snuggle in bed with a pet, a loved one, or (in my case) one of several Squishmallows.
2. Accept a cup of coffee brought to you by someone who knows how to make coffee the way you like it.
1. Roll over and go back to sleep, for god’s sake!
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